Mar. 5th, 2009

rxelyn: (emoness)
Have been feeling really terrible these few days, like a giant wave of discontentment, an element of something missing within me, that 'spark' that people talked about, whatever. It's like, where has that laid-back, annoyance-free part of me gone too? Everything seems to be building up towards me like some maelstrom, and it's all just rushing to the forefront.

I hate feeling like this, hello, why are you so weak? Doesn't everyone have their own issues too? Teenage angst, conflicts of interest, general annoyances, you aren't anything special in this universe, so toughen up and deal, yeah? If life sucks, then it sucks, so? (screw therapy, I can counsel myself better than some dude in a white coat holding a notepad.)

One bright thing to look forward to the end of this miserable week would be Saturday's clique outing unless they postpone it again, in which I'll really be quite pissed because when everything doesn't seems to be going right, all you ought to do is to take a step back and breathe. (I'm thinking of restarting meditations and walking at my own pace instead of feeling all hurried and obliged to follow suit.)

I'm also thinking of going to the bookstores and blowing money on books that I would keep on my shelves and not read due to the lack of time. And sitting in Starbucks and basically doing nothing without feeling weird or that I'm taking up space or wasting my time. I feel like we're moving at this fast pace of life that it's weird to sit around and do nothing at all, just shut up for once and enjoy the silence, you know?

Okay, since I'm talking rubbish here... think this means I ought to start on my gp essay already. If I can't hand it in tomorrow, well, so be it.
rxelyn: (ianto and phones)
It's raining! :D Gives one the feeling of release, like... all the pent up negative emotions are being washed clean. Small signs of salvation from the universe? Anyway, finally managed to complete my gp essay, indeed, I work better with noise around me, be it inane chatter beside me or random music that I generally don't pay attention to, they all work pretty well, since I could concentrate better. Now I ought to be reading through econs, at least. Maths, sort of like ignoring it because even if you fail, you'll most likely do the same retest as the original questions, which means... I'm not seeing the point of taking it tomorrow really. But, if it keeps her happy and non-naggy... I suppose I could at least be mature about it...

EDIT: Okay... so studying econs is an entire lie because the weather's sort of making me all sleepy... kekeke, excuses, but still. Yeah... I'll worry about it when I get there or something.

And apparently it's midnight over at Japan already? So yeah, happy birthday to my favourite 'emokid', Ryuutarou from PuraTuri. He's like... 36? Which makes him... three times as old as I am?! Holy batman! XD



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