rxelyn | The Hermit

Undoubtedly, Man is a social creature, no one can survive alone completely. Look at society in general over the thousands of years, you would notice that humans have always built their structure of society in a form of hierarchy or at least interactions between themselves.

Even now, networking between people is brought to a higher level. With the proliferation of technical gadgets and globalization on the rise, our world is shrinking further down to something tangible. We have Twitter that serves to update others about one's personal life, down to the minute details that we generally don't really want to know unless we are stalking them. There's networking sites like Facebook, Friendster, myspace, etc. We have forums to exchange ideas. And also brainless flame wars apparently. Humans are closer to each other than ever. For many countries, physical spaces may even have shrunk. Apartments are built closer together in order to conserve precious land space, perhaps to save resources, companies may avoid having personal offices, but lump everyone in their own cubicle. Whatever.

We perhaps see being alone as something to be feared, that if we are always alone, it would mean that something is wrong with us, that no one would choose solitude willingly. We would have to be socially exiled or commonly hated to choose to be alone.

The difference between loneliness and solitude would be that the former has more of a negative connotation, marked by a sense of isolation. Solitude, on the other hand, is a state of being alone without being lonely and can lead to self-awareness.

And I think I have joined the ranks of these sad crowd. Solitude used to be something common to me, I revel in being alone, with no one pestering me about things, listening to the music trickling from my earphones and taking long train rides looking at nothing in general.

Yet now, I find myself desiring of company, to find someone who has the time to go out with me, doing random stuff. Have I lost myself? Or is this a part of growing up? And I find myself torn between these contradictory attitudes.

I think I need to find myself again. (Maybe I should have been born a Scorpio instead; such a desire for self transformation and self knowledge. Or is this the Cancer in me speaking up? To remain as I was in the past?)