rxelyn: (emoness)
I don't care if this means I'm a fucking bitch, but seriously, I want to be free to do whatever I want, without pesky things, like guilt and obligations tying me down. I mean, it's my life, why should I care so much about how others feel while suppressing how I feel? Who would think for me then?

Remembered this sort of sentiment from an old H/D ficlet thing, in which the idea of bravery/courage was mentioned. It's super easy to take risks concerning with life and death because ultimately, you either die or live. If you live, hey, good for you, you get to look like a hero. If you die, with luck, you may be lauded as a hero too, but in the end, whatever how people see/treat you, whether they praise you to high heavens and deliver eulogies at your funerals or spit upon your grave and label you as the scum of humanity, what the fuck does it matter? You're dead already. It's the goddamn end, and you won't know it, so fucking blissful in the knowledge that whatever the living does, it's none of your business and you deserve your rest.

On the other hand, the idea of taking life changing risks is different because you get to stay alive to see the consequences until the end. Which is so much more frightening because people will notice and people will form an opinion and they will speak. (unless you're in some highly restrictive society) And you got to live with it until everything dies down. Which they don't ever do so. It will come back and bite you in the arse even though you may have made your peace with it already.

On a completely unrelated note, I feel like starting my own quotes journal (yes, this was influenced by something. Quite silly, actually.) because my memory is baaaad. And I think that from literary quotes by great writers to words scrawled in bathroom stalls, as long as they have made an impact on me at any point in time of my life, they deserve to have a home.

Also, in other news, I think I am a complete idiot, or at least useless at reading things that I care not for, I still don't really understand the wiki page for the First Persian Gulf War. Yes, I'm going to epic fail my history sbq assignment which I still haven't touch because I can't actually be fucking bothered to read the wiki page even though it's not that long. I mean, I plowed through thicker books than just that page!

More other news: My stomach is like churning really uncomfortably... gah. Am I getting sick?
quote unashamedly yanked and tweaked from Saiyuki, taken from Son Goku. I'm still not over my Minekura Kazuya craze... lol.

rxelyn: (aoi thumbs up)
Previous year's Blog Action Day can be found at [livejournal.com profile] ravenxeve 


image by Neil T

Poverty, as defined by dictionary.com:
1.the state or condition of having little or no money, goods, or means of support; condition of being poor; indigence.
2.deficiency of necessary or desirable ingredients, qualities, etc.: poverty of the soil.
3.scantiness; insufficiency: Their efforts to stamp out disease were hampered by a poverty of medical supplies.

This year's topic for Blog Action Day is Poverty, and I find myself debating to myself, because just what do I know about poverty? No matter how much I may bemoan about my poor financial status and wish for money to drop from the sky, I'm not exactly in any situation to complain. I get my weekly allowance every week without fail, I regularly dispose of food that I cannot finish, I buy new clothes when my old clothes work just fine. And yet, maybe in some other country, or even in Singapore alone, there will be others who cannot even afford half of what I have. Indeed, life has been kind to me.

I won't delve into much details, since all these can be read up if people are just willing to take the time to read books and magazines (Newsweek September 2008 issue) or even use wikipedia, but generally, causes of poverty includes environmental factors, poor governance, social problems, failing economics and the list could go on. Poverty does not only affect developing countries, developed countries have cases of extreme poverty as well.

While the world, upon seeing the destructive nature of poverty, has taken measures like UN setting the Millennium Development Goals for poverty reduction back in 2000, this target was barely met, and this was after being bulked up by China's rapid development. I think that there is more that we can do, through donating to charities, raising awareness. It may not be much, but just a contribution from every one of us can amount to a considerable sum. We cannot hope to eradicate poverty, but we can try to aid those who are fighting for this noble cause.

may be edited at a later date

The Hermit

Oct. 14th, 2008 05:53 pm
rxelyn: (writing)


image by alternativefocus
 

Undoubtedly, Man is a social creature, no one can survive alone completely. Look at society in general over the thousands of years, you would notice that humans have always built their structure of society in a form of hierarchy or at least interactions between themselves.

Even now, networking between people is brought to a higher level. With the proliferation of technical gadgets and globalization on the rise, our world is shrinking further down to something tangible. We have Twitter that serves to update others about one's personal life, down to the minute details that we generally don't really want to know unless we are stalking them. There's networking sites like Facebook, Friendster, myspace, etc. We have forums to exchange ideas. And also brainless flame wars apparently. Humans are closer to each other than ever. For many countries, physical spaces may even have shrunk. Apartments are built closer together in order to conserve precious land space, perhaps to save resources, companies may avoid having personal offices, but lump everyone in their own cubicle. Whatever.

We perhaps see being alone as something to be feared, that if we are always alone, it would mean that something is wrong with us, that no one would choose solitude willingly. We would have to be socially exiled or commonly hated to choose to be alone.

The difference between loneliness and solitude would be that the former has more of a negative connotation, marked by a sense of isolation. Solitude, on the other hand, is a state of being alone without being lonely and can lead to self-awareness.

And I think I have joined the ranks of these sad crowd. Solitude used to be something common to me, I revel in being alone, with no one pestering me about things, listening to the music trickling from my earphones and taking long train rides looking at nothing in general.

Yet now, I find myself desiring of company, to find someone who has the time to go out with me, doing random stuff. Have I lost myself? Or is this a part of growing up?  And I find myself torn between these contradictory attitudes.

I think I need to find myself again. (Maybe I should have been born a Scorpio instead; such a desire for self transformation and self knowledge. Or is this the Cancer in me speaking up? To remain as I was in the past?)
rxelyn: (aoi thumbs up)


rxelyn: (undone work)
Went over to the Ear Shot Cafe with Min Jie for this writers connect thing.

Made myself some new friends, Nisa and Marisa. Haha, they're actually older than me, but you wouldn't have known it looking at them. They're pretty cool people, and I think that it's pretty nice for someone like me to actually take the first step to make friends rather than be the usual standoffish me.

There wasn't a lot of people at the session which was good because too much people just make up clam up. I think Min Jie had a good time too cause we were separated, me in the fiction writers and her with the poets. Lol. Yeah, I could have gone over to her side, but after all, poetry is not my first love. I very much prefer writing stories.

I think the group's most likely to meet fortnightly, and the next meeting is most likely 2/3 August.
rxelyn: (meaningless)
Taken from <lj user="jbs-babe"> (she's on my other flist. and ravenxeve ish liek deaded.)
Game Rules:

A. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. Tag 8 people. Those who are tagged cannot refuse.
B. These 8 people must state who they were tagged by. You cannot tag the person who tagged you. Continue this game by sending this to 8 other people. People who are tagged will be blessed and their wishes will come true in the future. Ignore LOL.

01. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
... Alone, I would cry. And wonder what was wrong with me. With others, I would act flippant and plot revenge.

02. What will you do if you do not share the same feelings as the person who likes you?
Pretend nothing is wrong yet still be exceedingly careful of what I say and do to avoid misunderstanding. Also, keep the knowledge of such events from my friends, unless it's a need to know basis.

03. What will your dream wedding be like?
Um. Under the night sky, with lots of sweet smelling flowers and a flamboyant black gown of ruffles and lace and shiny jewels.

04. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
... maybe? But I think I like it this way, having an unpredictable future and all.

05. What's your ideal lover like?
Okay... someone who looks cool, someone who will make me go, 'ooh, bad boy alert' *laughs*, and will hurt me emotionally. Yet still makes me forgive him. Because... Idk, love? *laughs* Um, able to read my mood? Oh! Speak a foreign language XD. The leader type, widely read, and the list goes on.

06. Which is more blessed - Loving someone or being Loved by someone?
Well... I think it's to be loved. Because it's like, even if you are hated by the entire world, at least there is still someone who loves you, and I think that feeling... is really a special one, ne?

07. What's your favourite time of day?
Day? Lol, I'm a total night owl, like say , 3, 4 am? Idk, I guess the atmosphere's all different, no one around to bother you, it's really quiet, even the cats are all asleep or something, yeah.

08. Best form of comfort in times of a heartbreak?
Listen to music. Either to happy happy An Cafe to cheer myself up, or ballads by X Japan to cry my heart out. Or whatever other musicians that are fitting for my mood. 

09. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
... No, I don't think so... I don't generally remember events well...

10. What do you want most in life?
Success.

11. Pick a song, list it and explain why you like it.
Currently, it's Spring Nicht by Tokio Hotel. Because it's shows the depths of how much you can do for someone, and it's what I think true friends would do, persuade someone from attempting suicide, and when all else fails, say 'I'll jump for you'. Seriously, every time I get to this part, my eyes just well up.

12. If your boyfriend wanted to end a relationship that you thought was going well, what would you do?
... Question him until I get a satisfactorily answer. Or else it's like how the quote goes, 'He broke my heart. So I broke his jaw.'

13. Who is currently the most important person to you right now?
Hi-Mi-Tsu!

14. What is happiness for you?
To know that no matter what happens, there will always be people standing on your side, supporting you to the end. *laughs* member-ai?

15. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
You mean you had to ask?! Single and rich. Because being married does not equate to real happiness.

16. If the person you secretly like doesn't seem to notice you, what would you do?
Try to get closer to them, STALK THEM, but don't be so obvious, of course.

17. Would you give your all in a relationship?
Depends, I guess... on what you hope to get out of in that relationship...

18. What is your goal at this very moment and do you think you'll ever (honestly) be able to reach it?
Well, at the moment, I really want to get through the rest of this year smoothly. Pass the exams and stay clear of conflicts. That sort of thing, *laughs* maaa, it's not that hard right? *blinks* I should be able to reach it... I guess? Passing the exams... well, there's this thing called 'hard work'...

19. What type of friends do you like?
Definitely open minded people and strange people too? People that will make me go, 'Heeey, that's pretty insightful. Why didn't I think of that?' Or the total opposite, as in people who like to party, who will infect me with their liveliness and talk about anything and everything and make it funny.

20. What does it mean 'to live' for you?
To feel every emotion possible. Even if it's painful and bitter or euphoric, whatever, I want to experience the entire spectrum of emotions.


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