this was my ARTOFLIFE

I don't care if this means I'm a fucking bitch, but seriously, I want to be free to do whatever I want, without pesky things, like guilt and obligations tying me down. I mean, it's my life, why should I care so much about how others feel while suppressing how I feel? Who would think for me then?

Remembered this sort of sentiment from an old H/D ficlet thing, in which the idea of bravery/courage was mentioned. It's super easy to take risks concerning with life and death because ultimately, you either die or live. If you live, hey, good for you, you get to look like a hero. If you die, with luck, you may be lauded as a hero too, but in the end, whatever how people see/treat you, whether they praise you to high heavens and deliver eulogies at your funerals or spit upon your grave and label you as the scum of humanity, what the fuck does it matter? You're dead already. It's the goddamn end, and you won't know it, so fucking blissful in the knowledge that whatever the living does, it's none of your business and you deserve your rest.

On the other hand, the idea of taking life changing risks is different because you get to stay alive to see the consequences until the end. Which is so much more frightening because people will notice and people will form an opinion and they will speak. (unless you're in some highly restrictive society) And you got to live with it until everything dies down. Which they don't ever do so. It will come back and bite you in the arse even though you may have made your peace with it already.

On a completely unrelated note, I feel like starting my own quotes journal (yes, this was influenced by something. Quite silly, actually.) because my memory is baaaad. And I think that from literary quotes by great writers to words scrawled in bathroom stalls, as long as they have made an impact on me at any point in time of my life, they deserve to have a home.

Also, in other news, I think I am a complete idiot, or at least useless at reading things that I care not for, I still don't really understand the wiki page for the First Persian Gulf War. Yes, I'm going to epic fail my history sbq assignment which I still haven't touch because I can't actually be fucking bothered to read the wiki page even though it's not that long. I mean, I plowed through thicker books than just that page!

More other news: My stomach is like churning really uncomfortably... gah. Am I getting sick?
quote unashamedly yanked and tweaked from Saiyuki, taken from Son Goku. I'm still not over my Minekura Kazuya craze... lol.

... It's been years since I last listened to Elvendrums. And surprisingly I could still recall the exact words and tunes. :D Haha. Random fact of the day.

While promos are ended, another chapter of horror is beginning. Ahem. PW. From what I scanned of the post-promo timetable, it's jam-packed with everything pw related. Am so not looking forward to it.

Went over to Chin Ming's place just now to give her an early birthday surprise XD And I think she was surprised, haha. But the pictures that we took of her were bad... >.> Show your face moar!! Her hair basically dominated every picture that she was in. And now I owe Amirah money for her present, converse shoes. I wanna get a new pair of converses too. XD Okay, I know I have a pair at home now... but but you can't ever have too much shoes, right?! Lol.

So after that, Aishah, Amirah and I headed to town. We wanted to catch the 7pm's Kurosagi at Cineleisure. But... thanks to the long bus ride (stupid traffic) we couldn't make it in time.. ended up breaking fast with them at Burger King and we shopped around at HMV and Heeren basically. Damn. I want to go shopping! RAWR!

Saw this really cute hoodie and  vest at 77th Street... and dress/tunic thing at Cotton On. And Aishah was suggesting that we get couple rings. And because couple rings are tacky, I suggested triplet rings by adding Ami in too as well. XD But we'll still getting matching scarves or other accessories for our bunnies, k? Haha.

Got home real late... and ended up not helping my mother record her drama... even though I promised to do so... oh well. But today was pretty fun; it's been ages since the clique got together.

omfg. >.< should I lop my hair off to something like a longish bob??! I'm afraid that I'll regret it later on... then it'll be too late... =_=
never mind. I shall just go and sleep now. Can think about this tomorow before making the chop. :D